SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST

  The 3rd edition of the Sustainability Table Discourse is set to hold on the 26th of November 2020.  The virtual event would have in attendance, entrepreneurs, sustainable development experts, academia, policymakers to share perspectives on how best to achieve a green and digital economy. The discourse would focus on opportunities available to bring SDGs to scale through telecommunication investment and effective waste management. The theme of this year's edition is; "Bridging The Digital Divide: Leveraging Technology and Optimal Broadband Penetration to achieve the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs)". Speaking with the Convener who doubles as the Principal Consultant of Avant-garde Innovation and Technology Services, “Our mission is to utilise this forum, the leading sustainability platform in Nigeria as a melting pot where learning and solution-driven dialogue meet. With the unprecedented coronavirus pandemic and civil unrest this year, we saw the lack of internet co...

Before I begin writing, let me warn you that this is not some funny essay. This is not funny. Depression is not funny. I mean DO NOT EXPECT TO LAUGH. If you want to laugh, go and read about feminists who want Meghan fucking Rapinoe to earn the same as Messi when she doesn't even have half the talent of Jesse bloody Lingard (and he's uniquely talentless). Don’t read this. This is an essay about a very sombre subject and as such I expect a very sombre attitude towards reading it. In fact, if you make any attempt to smile while reading this, you’re literally worse than Hitler. You get it? You're like LITERALLY like Hitler. And even worse, because even Hitler cared about Germany, or something.  Wait. Wait. I am sure you are thinking, wow that introduction was just tongue in cheek. He is actually writing something funny and wants us to laugh ha ha Lmao laughing my anxiety out. My tongue is outside my cheek please, it is not in any cheek kan kan. I trust that we are a...

Phobia simply refers to the fear of something and an aggravated form of that would be doing everything you can to keep it away. There are variations of phobia including : agoraphobia, claustrophobia etc. and these are all in relation to objects and inanimate stuff. Then, you have other ones like: Homophobia, Transphobia, Islamophobia and xenophobia. These ones deal with fear of a particular group of human beings so much so that you are driven to hurt them or do everything you can to keep them away and/or ostracize them. In this piece, I’ll be talking about homophobia and the extent of the word. Let me start by mentioning that homophobia is a real thing! I have listened to people narrate freaking horror stories about everything they go through because they seem to be attracted to people of the same sex and they can’t help it. Even more so, in my native country, “homosexual acts” have been criminalized and a violation of that attracts a jail term of 14 years. Any sign of homosexuality ma...

Before you start this, you must know two things. The first is that this article is quite long. Unnaturally so, perhaps. The second is that you not getting my jokes— which are always pristine by the way, is as a result of your failings, not mine. The third is that I don't really care if you're offended by my thoughts. And the fourth is that I'm not quite sure of how to count properly. A few weeks ago, while I was winning my 25th straight league title with Manchester United on the joke I call a computer playing the joke called Pes 2019, I got a sudden premonition. It wasn't the kind of premonitions you get the night before an exam— the sort of premonition that makes you quite certain you're going to bang the course, even though you've literally never had sex. It was an exciting kind. The kind you get when the class retard in your class stands up to say something you suspect is so ridiculously asinine that you would lose several brain cells just listening to it.  T...

In the end, flowers are fated to whither, rivers to dry and humans to die, the seemingly never e nding cycle of death and rebirth in reality ends for whoever dies or whatever withers and only begins for whatever or whomever is born. Philosophers will argue that in the grand scheme of things, the cycle never ends, but philosophers also say they know nothing and at this point, I agree with them. Before you think I am about to write something deep, kindly go back if you are not an anime fan, if you are, continue reading and when you're done, a thousand bijuudama multiplied by full counter if you do not share to fellow otaku's. You see, anime websites have been banned and the Nigerian Otaku universe is no longer in one piece. The Japanese government, in enforcing it's privacy laws has taken huge steps to protect one of the countries leading exports in terms of entertainment (anime.) While a lot of people see anime as childish, with the masses referring to it as cartoons, we the...

I like transpeople. There is a lot to learn from them. Only if you will pay more  attention to their insights and suspend the fights. These people did their homework quite well and did a good job of marking it themselves—-although if I have been given the privilege to be an examiner, I wouldn’t have scored them any lower.  Now, to the main issue, we’ve all been witnesses of their activism. And a lot of stupid people like me have ended up as unwilling but very fortunate victims of their very intelligent speeches. You see them display placards more often than they fly the American flag, not only warning us about the disadvantages of biological rigidity, but also drawing our attention to the looming danger of ecological collapse. We are asked to protect nature. They stress the need to preserve the health of the environment. They are so kind they are willing to sacrifice their own economic comforts for that, and wouldn’t such compassion for nature, for the planet, for th...